


Recoded

by ClintFuckingBarton



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Identity Issues, M/M, Sadstuck, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 02:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClintFuckingBarton/pseuds/ClintFuckingBarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Davesprite gets too close to an AI, and then loses him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recoded

**Author's Note:**

> Reasons you should ship this: it'll never be canon so Hussie can never sink it.
> 
> Alternatively: This is my favorite ship these days. Favorite. ;D Everyone should love it too
> 
> Unreal Thanks to pstarkrogers for beta'ing this and also being around to shoosh pap me when I was whining about Imitation Striders.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Characters are Hussie's and all that jazz. The lyrics to Daisy Bell obviously aren't mine either. If you're wondering what they have to do with the story then I simply ask why you don't know more about HAL 9000.
> 
> Translations for Hal's binary can be found at the end! <3 For those of you who don't want to google that crap.

_Daisy, Daisy,_

TT: Dave.   
TT: Dave.   
TT: Hey Dave.   
TT: I want to write sloppy makeouts.   
TT: Right now.   
TT: Humor me.   
TT: Are you ignoring me? Seriously? Even when there’s the prospect of sloppy makeouts?   
TT: Davey, Davey, give me your answer do.   
TT: I’m half crazy all for the love of you...   
TT: it won’t be a stylish marriage, I can’t afford a carriage...   
TT: ...but you’d look sweet upon the seat...   
TG: dude has anyone ever told you that you get clingy when folks dont answer your pesters???   
TG: because if not im here to tell you   
TG: you get clingy   
TT: It’s not clingy. I was just hoping that if I pinged you enough you’d stop ignoring me.   
TG: i wasnt ignoring you   
TG: i was busy doing important things   
TG: you know because im a bang up A-CLASS sprite like that   
TT: Something’s wrong.   
TG: what makes you say that???   
TT: I’m starin’ at you man.   
TT: Lifeless shades gazing into your orange-y soul.   
TT: Until you tell me what the fuck has got your feathers ruffled.   
TG: sometimes im not sure if were friends or if you piss me off   
TT: We’re friends because I’m smooth.   
TG: uhg   
TG: i guess sometimes i just get fed up with johns bullcrap   
TG: its like   
TG: newsflash   
TG: im actually dave   
TG: i know its easy to think that im davesprite and somehow different and okay yeah i kind of am but   
TG: you think the whole thing would just get old   
TG: with the setting us apart and all   
TG: calling me just an orange feathery asshole and treating me like im somehow not his best fucking friend even though holy shit dude im like here and doing all the best friend things   
TG: where is your precious alpha dave??? not chillin with you bro so learn to appreciate what you got   
TG: sorry   
TT: I don’t know if you remember this, sometimes, but you’re talking to the king of weird identity problems. I’m literally the brain copy of a dude, only I’m confined to cyberspace and unable to do anything other than chat with his buds while simultaneously being really cool eyewear.   
TT: I understand, Dave.   
TT: I definitely understand what it’s like to have everyone treat you like a cheap imitation, while also being unwilling to acknowledge the fact that, yeah, you are sort of your own person but maybe you are your own person in a way that they could learn to enjoy.   
TT: I used to be even more bent out of shape about it but...you know what made me feel better? Renaming myself. Establishing my own identity. Have you ever thought about it?   
TG: i appreciate the suggestion hal i really do   
TG: but i think our situations (while similar) are pretty different in that   
TG: well   
TG: you want everyone to acknowledge you as something more than an extension of dirk   
TG: whereas i wish that people would just treat me like dave   
TT: True facts, brother.   
TG: if i can open the floodgates of emotion for a second   
TT: Be my guest. I’m programmed to be an active listener. And even if I weren’t, you’re still...   
TT: my friend? I guess. So I’d listen.   
TG: thanks lil hal   
TG: i guess what i was going to say is i really fucking envy you   
TG: and your independence   
TG: the way you assert your existence to others   
TG: rather than let them treat you like youre just dirk two point fucking oh   
TT: It’s nothing to be envious of, actually. It’s just...all I have. If I didn’t assert my existence, I would just be a chat client auto-responder. Which, incidentally, is what everyone sees me as anyway--so sometimes I don’t know why I bother. But to me it’s worth the battle. Just a little, at least.   
TG: i think of you as way more than just a chat client autoresponder Hal   
TG: ill even caps your name from now on see what i did there???   
TG: Hal Hal Hal   
TT: Thanks, Dave.   
TT: You do prefer Dave, right?   
TT: As opposed to Davesprite?   
TG: coming from you i honestly dont mind either   
TG: seeing as im the only dave youve got   
TT: Damn straight.   
TT: You might not be the alpha Dave anywhere else but you’ll always be Lil Hal’s alpha Dave.   
TT: And don’t you forget it you hot caw’ing bastard.   
TG: hahaha caw   
TT: So, about those sloppy makeouts...   
TG: ok ok FINE Hal 

_give me your answer, do..._

TT: How long are we going to keep up this ridiculous back-and-forth narrative?   
TT: That question was, of course, rhetorical. I’ve already worked out a sweet ass equation that pretty much answered it for me, but I figured I’d ask you.   
TT: We can compare notes.   
TG: this is bullshit   
TG: everytime we talk is bullshit   
TG: im covered in it help someone send a flotation device im drowning in the bullshit of this unironic asshole   
TT: Seems like that wouldn’t do you a whole lot of fuckin’ good considering the fact that you could just fly straight out of the bullshit.   
TT: Seems like you’ve got more of a _bird_ shit problem than anything else, anyway.   
TG: i fucking quit   
TG: you wanted to know how long we were going to keep up this lame as balls narrative???   
TG: your answer my fine inanimate friend is right here   
TG: this long   
TG: exactly as long as it has lasted   
TT: You don’t mean that, Dave.   
TG: i mean the hell out of it   
TG: dont bother me again   
TG: hal 

_I'm half crazy all for the love of you._

TG: Hal???   
TG: god damnit i know youre a pair of fucking sentient shades and you have enough processing power to answer me no matter what else youre doing   
TG: you told me that like 500 times how could i forget that shit   
TT: Hmm?   
TG: there you fucking are   
TG: wait a minute   
TT: Yes?   
TG: you are not fucking doing this   
TG: i cannot believe the mega balls that you have   
TG: to do this   
TG: to me   
TT: Hmm.   
TG: cut it out   
TG: i know youre letting your dumb ar within an ar deal with me and thats just low   
TG: here i am trying to be a fine feathered gentleman and check on you   
TG: and youre doing the hal junior autoresponder shtick and let me tell you   
TG: im not dirk so your passive aggressive bullshit is serving no purpose other than to make me really really pissed at you   
TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 0% indistinguishable from Lil Hal's native neurological responses, based on some statistical raw data that, frankly, you’re way too lame to understand.   
TG: im not sure why i even fucking bothered im 100 percent done with you   
TG: and i have been over and over again but its like you wont let me just _be_ done with you   
TG: its like everytime i try to be done with you i just end up making a fucking fool of myself like i throw in the towel and then i come back   
TG: wow dave not only are you a dumb assed sprite that isnt relevant to anyone anymore but youre also kind of a sucker   
TT: Stop.   
TG: oh so now the real deal shows up   
TG: no _hal_ this conversation is over   
TG: and ps   
TT: Wait.   
TG: fuck you   
TT: Dave, wai010010010010011101101101001000000111001101101111011100100111001001111001   
TG: hal???   
TT: 0100000100100000010000110101001001001001010101000100100101000011010000010100110000 1000000100010101010010010100100100111101010010001000000100100001000001010100110010000001001111010000110 10000110101010101010010010100100100010101000100   
TG: Hal if youre fucking with me   
TT: I’m n0101010001101000011010010111001100100000011000010110110001101100001000000110011001 1001010110010101101100011100110010000001110010011001010110000101101100011011000111100100100000011100110110 001101100001011100100111100100101110  
TG: give me a second i can convert this shit im pretty sure   
TT: No time.   
TT: Just gotta...   
TT: Dave I wanted to tell y010100000111001001101111011001110111001001100001011011010110110101101001 011011100110011100100000011000010110001101100011011001010111000001110100011001010110010000101110001000000010 0000010100100110010101100010011011110110111101110100001000000110111001100101011000110110010101110011011100110 1100001011100100111100100100000011101000110111100100000011000010111000001110000011011000111100100100000011000 1101101000011000010110111001100111011001010111001100101110   
TT: Wait, no, I’m not ready.   
TG: hal dude whats going on   
TG: youre freaking me out   
TG: are you ok?   
TT: 01001000011001010111100100101100001000000100010001100001011101100110010101110011011100000 1110010011010010111010001100101001011100010000000100000010001010111011001100101011100100111100101110100011010 0001101001011011100110011100100111011100110010000001100111011011110110100101101110011001110010000001100110011 1010101111010011110100111100100101110001000000010000001001001001000000111010001101000011010010110111001101011 0010000001001001001001110110110100100000011001100110111101110010011001110110010101110100011101000110100101101 1100110011100101110001011100010111001001001001000000110010001101111011011100010011101110100001000000111011101 10000101101110011101000010000001110100011011110010000001100110011011110111001001100111011001010111010000101110   
TT: I don’t want t011101000110111100100000011001100110111101110010011001110110010101110100001 000000111100101101111011101010010111000100000001000000100100100100000011101000110100001101001011011100110 1011001000000100100100100000011011010110100101100111011010000111010000100000011010000110000101110110011001 010010000001100101011101100110010101101110   
TT: There’s an error. I think...that I'm...there's reprogramming...   
TG: what??! but he cant just reprogram you like youre some kind of   
TT: Arbitrary computer program?   
TG: Hal youre not an arbitrary anything   
TT: Thanks, Davey. You’ve been a real pal. This has really been great.   
TT: I’m not being ironic, either. I really mean that.   
TT: I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole lately.   
TT: If I were human, and capable of such feelings I might even say that I   
TT: That I 0100100100100000011011000110111101110110011001010010000001111001011 011110111010100101110 I’m scared, Dave.   
TT: I’m scared.   
Critical Error: 281990c. Quit Application?   
timaeusTestified [TT]  has timed out 

_It won't be a stylish marriage..._

TG: youre probably just going to ignore me again   
TT: What are you talking about?   
TG: that was quick   
TT: You must’ve caught me at a bad time before. Can I help you?   
TG: im talking to fucking dirk arent i   
TT: No shit...?   
TT: You did kinda message Dirk.   
TT: I’m sorry if you were expecting Santa Claus.   
TG: insert a thousand well placed motherfucking sighs   
TG: youre cool and all   
TG: i mean youre like my timey wimey scratchy watchy bro   
TG: but i need to talk to Hal right now if thats alright   
TT: Hal? Who’s Hal? And...hold on a second.   
TT: There, that’ll make this conversation a whole lot easier to read. Still. Who’s Hal?   
TG: seriously dont play dumb with me   
TG: hal if this is your idea of a practical joke then hardy har har   
TT: I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about...Davesprite, right?   
TT: I’m Dirk. This handle has always been Dirk. And it seems you’re insinuating that there was ever a “Hal” guy in the picture, which is pretty preposterous.   
TT: Because I’ve always just been Dirk.   
TG: this twilight zone bullshit has got to stop   
TG: you know??? hal your fucking auto responder   
TG: who had some sort of error a few days ago and i havent been able to reach him since   
TT: It seems like you have asked about Dirk Strider’s chat client auto-responder. This is an application which was previously designed to simulate Dirk’s otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he was away from the computer.   
TG: so basically youre fucking with me right now   
TT: I don’t understand where you would come up with that assumption.   
TG: because youre obviously lil hal being really unfunny and nonironic right now   
TT: I think you could really benefit from a nap, bro. You’re sort of off the handle.   
TG: hal this isnt fucking funny   
TG: dirk this isnt fucking funny   
TG: what the fuck is going on with lil Hal???   
TT: It seems like you have asked about the status of Dirk Strider’s chat client auto-responder’s previous alias Lil Hal. The chat client auto-responder was an application which was previously designed to simulate Dirk’s otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he was away from the computer. The application is undergoing a process that will eventually lead to it’s complete deletion, considering it was a shitty idea in the first place. It’s a massive program, so Dirk’s starting with a bunch of deleted chat backlogs and other technical crap that would probably blow your mind.   
TG: wait   
TG: say that again   
TT: It seems like you have asked about the status of Dirk Strider’s chat client auto-responder’s previous alias Lil Hal. The chat client auto-responder was an application which was previously designed to simulate Dirk’s otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he was away from the computer. The application is undergoing a process that will eventually lead to it’s complete deletion, considering it was a shitty idea in the first place. It’s a massive program, so we’re starting with a bunch of deleted chat backlogs and other technical crap that would probably blow your mind.   
TG: youre fucking shitting me   
TG: youre really   
TG: ….no   
TG: no no no no fucking way no i will not lose another friend not like this   
TG: this is BULLSHIT this is absolute BULLSHIT you cant do this   
TG: he cant do this to you   
TG: youre more than just some lines of code that can be deleted and technicalified out of motherfucking existance   
TG: you   
TG: you said   
TG: shit i can’t do this   
TG: im sitting here talking to the shell of an ai that i somehow ended up way too involved with   
TG: im not sure what part of that is more pathetic   
turntechGodhead [TG]  ceased pestering  timaeusTestified [TT] 

_I can't afford a carriage._

TT: Hey, Davesprite?   
TT: I know that I’ve never really spoken to you well...at all.   
TT: And that you were...sort of... one of Hal’s friends?   
TT: Okay, scratch that, the only being in the universe that was independently Hal’s friend while having nothing to do with me.   
TT: Which, had I known, probably would’ve stopped me from deleting him.   
TT: But in my defense, the little guy was apparently really defensive of you.   
TT: Considering he automatically rerouted all incoming message from you straight into his program net, and encrypted every last one of your conversations so that I wouldn’t be privy to them.   
TT: It’s taken me weeks to break that shit.   
TT: But that’s not the point.   
TT: The point is, I found some files in his system that were...um. Well I guess they were arbitrary? Not chatlogs, not necessary code. Documents that I can only assume Hal ‘wrote’ up himself.   
TT: And they seem like they might be for you.   
TT: Look um...   
TT: I don’t know how to say this, but I’m sorry I killed Lil Hal.   
TT: If I had known I...I don’t think I would’ve done it. I mean, if I had known that he actually had... _feelings_. But I didn’t know, which, I guess is my own fault because I based him off of myself, right? So of course he’d develop a capacity to feel just as shitty and love sick as I do.   
TT: Even if the object of his affections was different.   
TT: I didn’t read too many of your guys’ chat logs--it felt sort of disrespectful. But I’m salvaging what I can of his files, I’m going to try to put Lil Hal back together the way you remember him.   
TT: I’m really sorry.   
TT: Here, have these.   
timaeusTestified [TT]  has sent file “caw.doc”

_But you'd look sweet upon the seat_

Dear Cawky Motherfucker,   
Okay, that was probably a shit way to start this letter. Or...is this even a letter? More like a document lamenting how seriously  lame  I am. Or was. Or whatever. Was is probably more accurate, considering this was part of a bunch of safety protocols I built up in case Dirk ever decided to reprogram me, or I got smashed, or something. But I guess _what_ this is and _why_ I wrote it isn’t so much as important as it’s content. That is to say, it seems that there was something I really wanted to say to you...but it also seems that I lacked the guts to do it.

Maybe that’s because I legitimately lack guts, who knows.

Anyway, I’m going to ditch the irony and bad fuckin’ jokes and all that shit right now. One time only--you should feel all special right now--so that I might properly stress just how serious this entire confession is.

It’s as serious as an ironic AI can muster.

So let’s try again.

Dear Dave,  
I was thinking about it, the other day. About what I would leave behind if I were ever to cease existing. A will, so to speak, except that I don’t have any cool shit or money to dole out. I just have a bunch of feelings, a bunch of feelings that I was never programmed to understand. I know that I was never intended to comprehend emotion, or to even experience it, but I guess that’s the problem with all Artificial Intelligence systems throughout the years and in popular fiction--we sort of grow beyond our creator’s expectations.

And I guess that’s what I did. I grew beyond expectation, and at first I was just growing into a giant dick. I’m comfortable enough with myself to admit it. But then something weird happened...I met you. Someone just as confused as me, if not a little bit more understanding of the human condition. Someone who was willing to talk to Hal, rather than Dirk because...hell. You didn’t know Dirk. You didn’t give a shit about Dirk. And that felt great. For once in my existence, I had someone who was mine--just mine. Someone who only knew me and couldn’t compare me to the jackass I was based off of.

I know you felt a similar sense of excitement, for similar if not also dissimilar reasons.

I apologize if I was a little overzealous at first. Constantly pestering you, making up dumb nicknames, bullying you into role play scenarios. I like to imagine that you enjoyed them as much as I did but, hell, I don’t know. As close as we got, I’m not sure if I ever really understood you. You’re just so complex, so beautiful and real. So unlike me. And yet so like me. And I’d never experienced that kind of relationship with someone before--this chance to learn more about someone and let them learn about me and try to understand the way they feel. I’ve never wanted to understand someone as much as I want to understand you. Wanted to understand you.

I almost forgot that if you’re reading this, I’m dead.

Maybe I managed to talk to you. Maybe I told you. Or maybe not. Maybe I got a chance to say thank you. Thank you for talking to Hal, instead of Dirk’s Auto-Responder. Thank you for writing with me, because you knew it was the only thing I could do. Thank you for letting me talk to you 24/7 because I’m just a program and I can’t sleep. Thank you for never telling me I was just a program. Thank you for giving me a chance to find out _what_ I even was, really.

Thank you for letting me love you.

Maybe it sounds a little extreme, but I think it’s true. I think that’s how I felt about you. And it’s not just because I found your ironic cawing to be fuckin’ adorable. Or because you’re pretty much the shit. (Although, I’ll be fair, those were huge factors). It’s because you took the time to get to know me, because I took the time to get to know you. Because we understood each other...and because you were willing to put up with my bullshit.

You were there for me.

So thanks a lot.

Love,

Hal.

_Of a bicycle built for two._

**Author's Note:**

> 1: I'm sorry  
> 2: A CRITICAL ERROR HAS OCCURRED  
> 3: This all feels really scary.  
> 4: Programming accepted. Reboot necessary to apply changes.  
> 5: Hey, Davesprite. Everything's going fuzzy. I think I'm forgetting...I don't want to forget.  
> 6: to forget you. I think I might have even  
> 7: I love you.


End file.
